connection before outcomes
If you’re a therapist, educator, parent or caregiver supporting someone who has a disability diagnosis and no spoken words, you’ve probably asked yourself, “how do I know if what I’m doing is helping?”
Often, the answer isn’t found in a checklist or an assessment report.
From our research and clinical experience, and plenty of trial and error, one thing stands out for us. The most effective support for communication and well-being doesn’t start with outcomes in mind - it starts with connection.
Tune In
When we let go of our agenda for outcomes and instead tune into the person’s gestures, movements, vocalisations, and affect, things shift. We begin to notice their communication. They begin to respond more. And over time, these interactions grow into a deeper level of communication, expression and trust.
Everyone connects differently. But when we TUNE IN, we can build connection.
But what does tuning in look like?
Well, let’s start with what’s meaningful for the person we’re wanting to connect with. If they loves moving, lining things up, or tapping rhythms, go from there. Use their existing preferences. These aren’t distractions, they’re possible invitations to “play like I do”.
Respect all communication. Words aren’t the only language. Tune into what the they are already offering. Sighs, hums, shifts in posture and movement. Offer some of this back in a similar way as your reply, see how they respond. Do they close the circle of communication with you or offer more? This is your clue to continue or stop.
Keep all that you do simple and spacious. By that, we mean slow it down. Use less language. Less talking. More listening. Embrace some silence. Allowing extra time, especially around transitions or tricky moments, can allow space for connection and communication to occur.
Make time, even just a little
You don’t need hours for this. Just 3 minutes with real focus can make a difference. 1 minute, 2-3 times a day would be a good start too. Set achievable goals for this. We know how busy life can be.
Let go of the pressure to achieve something. If interaction happens, we’re celebrating that with you. Fantastic! If a circle of communication occurs, by that we mean a back and forth moment, try to stay in it just a little longer. If you can’t, that’s okay too. You showed up. You were there. You TUNED IN.
These aren’t rules, they’re simply reminders
Not every moment will be joyful or flowing. Some will be loud and silly. Others quiet and uncertain. That’s okay. Connection isn’t about getting everything “right.” If you’re doing that, you’re focused on the outcome.
Remove perfectionism and just creatively respond. Connection is about being present and responsive, again and again.
It’s not a method or a set of steps. It’s just noticing and responding. I guess, that’s some sort of method isn’t it?! But really, what we’re trying to say is, TUNE IN, focus on connecting, because once trust is established you’ve created a solid foundation. One that says, “I see you, I’m here, we can do this together.”
Connection is the foundation
You can delve deeper into the theories and science behind all of this, but in simple terms, connection is about increasing our attention to another and observing, intently listening, responding and therefore sharing an experience together.
Once you have connection, over time, you might see more expression. More trust. More interaction. You might not. But connection will always matter and making it stronger builds a foundation for wellbeing and a sense of belonging.
Being together is enough. Let go of the outcomes, the goals. Just show up, tune in, and make space to be together.
👉 Want to learn more about embedding inclusive, creative connection & communication strategies into everyday routines?
👉 Follow Tuned In Connections for practical tools, training, and resources. We’re keen for you to learn what we know so that inclusive practice develops in your everyday interactions.
